[cddiesel]

Aladdin: So, three wishes. I want them to be good... what would you wish for?
Genie: Me? No one's ever asked me that before. Well, in my case... ah, forget it.
Aladdin: What?
Genie: No, I can't. I...
Aladdin: Come on, tell me.
Genie: [sigh] Freedom.


[Abu goes crazy and leaps onto Aladdin's head]
Aladdin: Abu, this is no time to panic!
[sees that they're about to hit a wall]
Aladdin: Start panicking!


Aladdin: [singing] Riffraff. Street Rat. I don't buy that! If only they'd look closer... Would they see a poor boy? No sir-ee! They'd find out there's so much more to me!
Aladdin: [sighs, no longer singing] Someday, Abu, things are gonna change. We'll be rich, live in a palace, and never have any problems at all.


Jafar: Just where did you say you were from?
Aladdin: Oh, uh-uh, much farther than you've traveled, I'm sure.
Jafar: Try me.


Iago: Oooooh, nice shot, Jafa-
[Abu whacks him over the head]


Genie: Your line is "I'm going to FREE the Genie!" Anytime!



Genie: Al, no problem. You've still got one wish left. Just say the word and you're a prince again.
Aladdin: But Genie, what about your freedom?
Genie: Hey, it's only an eternity of servitude. This is love. Al, you're not gonna find another girl like her in a million years. Believe me, I know. I've looked.



Merchant: Ooh, look at this. I have never seen one of these intact before. This is the famous Dead Sea Tupperware. Listen. Pbbtt! Ah, still fresh.



Princess Jasmine: It all so magical.
Aladdin: Yeah.
Princess Jasmine: It's a shame Abu had to miss this.
Aladdin: Nah. He hates fireworks, and he really doesn't like flying either... That is, um... Oh, no.
Princess Jasmine: [takes off Aladdin's turban] You are the boy from the market place. I knew it! Why did you lie to me?
Aladdin: Jasmine, I'm sorry!
Princess Jasmine: Did you think I was stupid?
Aladdin: No!
Princess Jasmine: Did you think I wouldn't find out?
Aladdin: No! I mean, I was hoping you wouldn't... that's not what I meant...
Princess Jasmine: Who are you? Tell me the truth.
Aladdin: The truth? The truth... The truth is I sometimes pass myself off as a commoner to escape the pressures of palace life. But I really am a prince.
Princess Jasmine: Why didn't you tell me?
Aladdin: Well, a prince walking around the marketplace? Sounds a little strange, doesn't it?
Princess Jasmine: Not that strange.

Genie: No matter what anyone else says, you'll always be a prince to me.
Sultan: That's right. You've certainly proven your worth as far as I'm concerned. It's the law that's the problem.
Princess Jasmine: Father?
Sultan: Well, am I sultan, or am I sultan? From this day forth, the princess shall marry whomever she deems worthy!
Princess Jasmine: Him! I choose... I choose you, Aladdin.
Aladdin: Call me Al.

Aladdin: [hanging from the entrance of the Cave of Wonders ] Help me out!
Jafar: Hand over the lamp!
Aladdin: I can't hold on! Give me your hand!
Jafar: First give me the lamp!
[Aladdin throws him the lamp]
Jafar: Yes! At last!
[Grabs Aladdin's wrist]
Aladdin: What are you doing?
Jafar: Giving you your reward.
[pulls out a dagger]
Jafar: Your eternal reward!
[Jafar is about to stab Aladdin when Abu bites him, forcing him to drop the dagger; He throws Abu in just as the Cave closes]
Jafar: It's mine! it's all mine!
[searches for the lamp, but can't find it]
Jafar: Where is it? No. Nooo!


Genie: So what'll it be, master?
Aladdin: You're gonna grant me any 3 wishes I want, right?
Genie: [imitating William F. Buckley] Uh, ah, almost. There are a few, uh, provisos. Ah, a couple of quid pro quo.
Aladdin: Like?
Genie: [normally] Uh, rule #1, I can't kill anybody.
[cuts his head off]
Genie: So don't ask. A-rule #2!
[fixes his head]
Genie: I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else.
[smooches Aladdin]
Genie: You little punim there. RULE #3!
[turns into a slimy Genie, and imitating Peter Lorre]
Genie: I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture. I DON'T LIKE DOING IT!
[he returns to normal]
Genie: Other than that, you got it!


[Prince Achmed is storming out of the Palace after being rejected by Princess Jasmine]
Prince Achmed: Oh, I've never been a so insulted Prince!
Sultan: Achmed, you're-you're not leaving so soon, are you?
Prince Achmed: [walks away, pants at the butt area are ripped off, revealing spotted underwear] Good luck marrying her off!


Jafar: I think it's time to say goodbye to Prince Abubu.


Sultan: [to Rajah] Allah forbid you should have any daughters!
Rajah: Huh?

Genie: [after explaining to Aladdin that he can grant any wish his heart desires] You ain't never had a friend like me!


Iago: We gotta get outta here! We gotta get out! I gotta start packing, your highness! Only essentials, we gotta travel light. I'll bring the guns, the weapons, the knives...
[suddenly comes across a photo of himself and Jafar as he is rummaging through his posessions]
Iago: And how about this picture? I don't know, I think I'm making a weird face in it?