[cddiesel]

Genie: I'm history! No, I'm mythology! Nah, I don't care what I am, I'm free!


Razoul: We just keep running into each other, don't we, street rat?


[Princess Jasmine is in disguise, and hanging out with Aladdin; the guards capture him]
Princess Jasmine: Let him go.
Razoul: Looky here, men. A street *mouse*.
[throws her down]
Princess Jasmine: Unhand him,
[pulls off the hood of her cloak]
Princess Jasmine: by order of the Princess.
Razoul: Princess Jasmine.
Aladdin: The Princess?
Razoul: What are you doing outside the palace? And with this street rat?
Princess Jasmine: That's not your concern. Do as I command. Release him.
Razoul: Well, I would, Princess, except my orders come from Jafar. You'll have to take it up with him.
Princess Jasmine: Believe me, I will.


Aladdin: All this for a loaf of bread?


Genie: Made you look.


Cave of Wonders: Who disturbs my slumber?


Guard: You won't get away so easy.
Aladdin: You think that was easy?


Iago: Oh, boy. He's cracked. He's gone nuts. Jafar. Jafar! Get a grip!
[Jafar grabs Iago by the throat]
Iago: Ack! Good grip.


Aladdin: Provisos? You mean limitations? On wishes? Huh. Some all-powerful Genie. Can't even bring people back from the dead. I don't know, Abu. He probably can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like *we're* gonna have to find a way outta here.
Genie: Excuse me? Are you lookin' at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so, not right now. You're getting your wishes, so sit down!


Aladdin: Wow. The palace looks pretty amazing, huh?
Princess Jasmine: [disappointed] Oh, it's wonderful.
Aladdin: I wonder what it'd be like to live there, and have servants and valets.
Princess Jasmine: Oh, sure. People who tell you where to go and how to dress.
Aladdin: That's better than here. You're always scraping for food and ducking the guards.
Princess Jasmine: You're not free to make your own choices.
Aladdin: Sometimes you feel so...
Princess Jasmine: You're just...
Aladdin, Princess Jasmine: ...trapped.



Woman: Getting into trouble a little early today, aren't we, Aladdin?
Aladdin: Trouble? No way. You're only in trouble if you get caught.
Razoul: Gotcha!
Aladdin: I'm in trouble.



Princess Jasmine: Please, try to understand. I've never done a thing on my own. I've never had any real friends.
[Rajah grumbles]
Princess Jasmine: Except you, Rajah. I've never even been outside the palace walls.
Sultan: But, Jasmine, you're a princess.
Princess Jasmine: Then maybe I don't wanna be a princess anymore.
Sultan: [exasperated] Ooooh! I-I-
[to Rajah]
Sultan: Allah forbid you should have any daughters!



Genie: [as tailor] First, that fez-and-vest combo is much too third-century. These patches. What are we trying to say? Beggar? No. Let's work with me here.
[after taking measurements, turns Aladdin's rags into fine clothes]
Genie: Ooh, I like it! Muy macho!



Genie: What would you wish of me?
[as Arnold Schwarzenegger]
Genie: The ever impressive...
[as if trapped in a box]
Genie: ... the long-contained...
[as SeÒor Wences]
Genie: ... the often immitated, but never...
[multiplies himself]
Genie: ... duplicated... duplicated... duplicated... duplicated... Genie of the Lamp!
[as Ed Sullivan]
Genie: Right here, direct from the lamp. Right here for your very much wish-fulfillment. Thank you.



Merchant: Welcome to Agrabah. City of mystery, of enchantment. And the finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan ! On sale today! Come on down.


Iago: I can't take it anymore! If I gotta choke down on one more of those moldy, disgusting crackers... Bam! Whack!
Jafar: Calm yourself, Iago.
Iago: And then I'd grab him around the head. Whack, whack!
Jafar: Soon I will be sultan, not that addlepated twit.
Iago: And then I stuff the crackers down *his* throat.


Genie: I'm telling you, nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi! Where you from? What's your name?
Aladdin: Uh... A-A-Aladdin.
Genie: Aladdin! Hello, Aladdin. Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you Al, or maybe just Din? Or, how 'bout Laddie?
[turns into a Scotsman]
Genie: It sounds like, "Here, boy!"
[whistles]
Genie: C'mon, Laddie!
[turns into a dog]
Aladdin: I must've hit my head harder than I thought.


Genie: Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that, or I'm getting bigger. Look at me from the side. Do I look different to you?


Genie: I'm free. I'm free. Quick. Quick, wish for something outrageous. Say, "I-I want the Nile ." Wish for the Nile . Try that.
Aladdin: Uh, I wish for the Nile .
Genie: No way!
[laughs]
Genie: Oh, does that feels good!



Aladdin: [saving Jasmine from an irate merchant] Thank you, kind sir. I'm so glad you found her. I've been looking all over for you.
Princess Jasmine: [whispering] What are you doing?
Aladdin: [whispering] Just play along.
Man in market: You, uh, know this girl?
Aladdin: Sadly, yes. She is my sister. She's a little crazy.
Man in market: She said she knew the sultan.
Aladdin: She thinks the monkey is the sultan.
Princess Jasmine: [bowing to Abu] Oh, wise sultan, how may I serve you?
Aladdin: Tragic, isn't it? But, no harm done. Now, come along, sis. Time to go see the doctor.
Princess Jasmine: [to a camel] Oh, hello, doctor. How are you?
Aladdin: No, no, no. Not that one.



Iago: [taking the lamp] Boy, Jafar's gonna be happy to see you.
Iago: [as Jafar] Excellent work, Iago.
Iago: Ah, go on.
Iago: [as Jafar] No, really. On a scale of one to ten, you are an eleven.
Iago: Oh, Jafar, you're too kind. I'm embarrassed. I'm blushing.


Jafar: You little fool. You thought you could defeat the most powerful being on Earth.
Iago: Squeeze him, Jafar. Squeeze him like a...
[the Genie slaps Iago into the air]
Jafar: Without the genie, boy, you're nothing.
Aladdin: The genie. The genie! The genie has more power than you'll ever have.
Jafar: What?
Aladdin: He gave you your power. He can take it away.
Genie: Al, what are you doing? Why are you bringing me into this?
Aladdin: Face it, Jafar. You're still just second best.
Jafar: You're right. His power does exceed my own. But not for long.
Genie: The boy is crazy. He's a little punch-drunk. One too many hits with the snake.
Jafar: Slave, I make my third wish. I wish to be an all-powerful genie.
Genie: All right. Your wish is my command. Way to go, Al.





Genie: [looks at a script] Tonight, the part of Al will be played by a tall, dark and sinister ugly man.





Jafar: [hypnotizing the Sultan with his snake staff] You will order the Princess to marry me.
Sultan: [hypnotized] I will order the Princess to...
[suddenly breaks out of the trance]
Sultan: But you're so *old*!





Jafar: I think it's time to say goodbye to Prince A-boo-boo.



Aladdin: Wait-wait a minute. I'm your master?
Genie: [gives Aladdin a mortar cap and diploma] That's right! He can be taught!



Aladdin: [picking up the lamp] This is it? This is what we came all the way down here to...
[sees Abu taking a ruby]
Aladdin: Abu! No!
Cave of Wonders: Infidels!
Abu the Monkey: Uh, oh.
Cave of Wonders: You have touched the forbidden treasure! Now, now you will never again see the light of day!



Prince Achmed: You are a worthless street rat. You were born a street rat, you'll die a street rat, and only your fleas will mourn you.
Aladdin: I'm not worthless! And I don't have fleas!
[Aladdin scratches his head]



[worried about Jasmine's refusal to choose a suitor]
Sultan: I don't know where she gets it from. Her mother wasn't nearly so picky.


[last lines after credits]
Genie: You have been a fabulous audience! Tell you what, you're the best audience in the whole world. Take care of yourselves! Good night, Alice ! Good night, Agrabah! Adios, amigos!



Jafar: Sire, I must intercede on Jasmine's behalf. This boy is no different than the others. What makes him think he is worthy of the princess?
Aladdin: Your majesty, I am Prince Ali Ababwa. Just let her meet me. I will win your daughter.
Princess Jasmine: How dare you? All of you! Standing around deciding my future. I am not a prize to be won!


Genie: I can't help you, I work for Senor Psychopath now!


[first lines]
Merchant: Ahh! Salam and good evening to you worthy friend. Please, please come closer.
[camera hits him in the face]
Merchant: Too close! A little too close.
[camera backs up]
Merchant: There! Welcome to Agrabah!

Aladdin: [singing] Let's not be too hasty!
Heavyset Harlem : [scoops Aladdin up in her arms and sings] Still I think he's rather tasty!


Aladdin: Look at that, Abu, it's not everyday you see a horse with two rear ends.


Genie: [on the magic carpet] In case of emergency, the exits are here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here anywhere! Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet! We're outta here!



Jafar: Patience Iago, patience. Gazeem was obviously less than worthy.
Iago: Oh there's a big surprise! That's an incredible - I think I'm going to have a heart attack and die of not surprise!