[cddiesel]

Memorable quotes/lines from Aladdin

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO USE THE WHOLE QUOTE! You can use just one line....

Iago: Look at this. I'm so ticked off that I'm molting.


Aladdin: Princess Jasmine, you're very...
Genie: Wonderful! Magnificent! Glorious!... Punctual!
Aladdin: Punctual!
Princess Jasmine: Punctual?
Genie: Sorry.
Aladdin: Uh... uh... beautiful!
Genie: Nice recovery.



[Iago is powering a mystic device by footpower]
Iago: With all due respect, Your Rottenness, couldn't we just wait for a *real* storm?
Jafar: Save your breath, Iago. Faster!
Iago: Yes, O Mighty Evil One.



Aladdin: Wish fulfillment?
Genie: Three wishes, to be exact. And ixnay on the wishing for more wishes. That's all. Three. Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds.




Genie: Rule number three, I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty picture. I don't like doing it!



[as a female tour guide]
Genie: Thank you for choosing "Magic Carpet" for all your travel needs. Don't stand until the rug has come to a complete stop. Thank you. Goodbye, now. Goodbye. Goodbye, thank you. Goodbye.
[back to normal]
Genie: Well, how about *that*, Mr. Doubting Mustafa?
Aladdin: Oh, you sure showed me. Now about my three wishes...
Genie: Dost mine ears deceive me? "Three?" You are down by one, boy!
Aladdin: Ah, no, I never actually wished to get out of the cave. Heh. You did that on your own.
[the Genie's mouth drops]
Genie: Oh. Well I feel sheepish.
[turns into a sheep]
Genie: All right, you baaaaaad boy. But no more freebies.



Genie: [as Jack Nicholson] All right, sparky, here's the deal. If you wanna court the little lady, ya gotta be a straight shooter. Do ya got it?
Aladdin: What?
Genie: [pointing to each word on a blackboard] Tell... her... the *truth*!




Genie: Oi! Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck.



Jafar: How many times do I have to kill you, boy?



Genie: [turns into a cheerleader] Rick 'em, rack 'em, rock 'em, rake. Stick that sword into that snake!
Jafar: You stay out of thissss!
Genie: [Weakly] Jafar, Jafar, he's our man. If he can't do it, GREAT!



Merchant: Look at this! Yes! Heh, heh. Combination hookah and coffee maker, also makes Julienne fries. Will not break!
[taps it on table]
Merchant: Will not-
[it falls apart]
Merchant: It broke!




Princess Jasmine: Father, I choose Prince Ali!
Jafar: Prince Ali left!
[shows Aladdin standing in the doorway to the balcony]
Aladdin: Better check your crystal ball again, Jafar!
Princess Jasmine: Prince Ali!
Iago: How in the he- Uh, awk!



Genie: You know Al, I'm getting really -
[turns and sees Jafar]
Genie: I don't think you're him.



Iago: Ladies and gentlemen, a warm Agrabah welcome for Sorcerer Jafar!
Jafar: Now where were we? Ah, yes - abject humiliation!
[He zaps Jasmine and the Sultan with his staff, and they both bow to him. Rajah comes running at him. He zaps Rajah, and the tiger turns into a kitty-cat]
Jafar: Down, boy! Oh, princess,
[lifts Jasmine's chin with his staff]
Jafar: there's someone I'm dying to introduce you to.
Aladdin: [Flying towards him on carpet] Jafar! Get your hands off her!
Jafar: [zaps Aladdin, Carpet flies away. Singing] Prince Ali, yes, it is he, but not as you know him. Read my lips and come to grips with reality
[brings Aladdin and Jasmine closer in the air]
Jafar: Yes, meet a blast from your past, whose lies were too good to last! Say hello to your precious Prince Ali!
[zaps Ali back to Aladdin as he says it]
Iago: Or should we say Aladdin?
Princess Jasmine: [shocked] Ali
Aladdin: Jasmine, I tried to tell you.
Jafar: [still singing] So Ali turns out to be merely Aladdin
[turns Abu back to his normal self]
Jafar: Just a con, need I go on? Take it from me his personality flaws give me adequate cause to send him packing on a one-way trip
[sends Aladdin and Abu in a pillar, carpet flies in after the,]
Jafar: so his prospects take a terminal dip his assets frozen, the venue chosen is the ends of the earth,
[sends the pillar in the air]
Jafar: whoopee! So long,
Iago: Good bye, see ya!
Jafar: [sings] Ex-Prince Ali!
[laughs maniacly]



Jafar: Get your blasted beak out of my face!
Iago: Oh, shut up, you moron!
Jafar: Don't tell ME to shut up!
Genie: Allow me. Ten thousand years in the Cave of Wonders outta chill him out!
[flicks them into the distance]



Aladdin: Genie, I wish for your freedom.
Genie: One bona fide prince pedigree coming up. I - what?
Aladdin: [He holds the lamp up to Genie] Genie, you're free!



Jafar: You are late.
Gazeem: A thousand apologies, O Patient One.



Aladdin: You're a prisoner?
Genie: It's all part and parcel, the whole "genie gig":
[grows to a gigantic size]
Genie: PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS!
[shrinks down inside the lamp]
Genie: Itty-bitty living space!


Genie: Enough about you, Casanova. Talk about her.
Aladdin: Huh?
Genie: She's smart, fun. The hair, the eyes. Anything. Pick a feature.



[Aladdin has nearly drowned, and his unconscious body falls and rubs on the lamp]
Genie: [appearing as a guy in a bathtub] Never fails! You get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp.
[squeaks rubber duckie]
Genie: Hello?
[sees Aladdin]
Genie: Al? Al! Kid! Snap out of it! Oh, you can't cheat on this one. I can't help you unless you make a wish. You have to say, "Genie, I want you to save my life," got it? Okay!
[shakes Aladdin]
Genie: C'mon, Aladdin!
[Aladdin's head droops]
Genie: I'll take that as a yes.
[he changes into a submarine and pulls Aladdin out of the sea]


Genie: Yo, Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia. Give me some tassel.


Jafar: You're speechless, I see. A fine quality in a wife.


Princess Jasmine: [to Jafar] At least some good will come of my being forced to marry. When I am Queen, I will have the power to get rid of *you*.
Sultan: Well, now. That's nice. All settled then. Now, Jasmine, getting back to this suitor business... Jasmine? Jasmine!
[the Sultan notices that Jasmine is running out of the room, and runs after]
Jafar: If only I had gotten that lamp.
Iago: [mocking Jasmine] "I will have the power to get rid of you." Grrrr. To think we gotta keep kissin' up to that chump, and his chump daughter, for the rest of our lives...
Jafar: No, Iago. Only until she finds a chump husband. Then she'll have us banished. Or... beheaded.
Jafar, Iago: Ewwww.
Iago: Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute! Jafar, what if *you* were the chump husband?
Jafar: What?
Iago: Okay, okay. *You* marry the princess, all right? And-and, uh, you- Then *you* become the sultan!
Jafar: Ah. Marry the shrew. I become sultan. The idea has merit.
Iago: Yes, merit. Yes! And then, we drop papa-in-law and the little woman off a cliff... ”Yaaaah! Kersplat!"
Jafar: [laughs] I love the way your foul little mind works.



[the Genie and the flying carpet are playing chess]
Genie: So, move.
[the carpet makes a move]
Genie: Hey! That's a good move.
[as Rodney Dangerfield]
Genie: I can't believe it. I'm losin' to a rug.



Genie: Oh, Al. I'm gettin' kinda fond of you, kid. Not that I wanna pick out curtains or anything.


[Abu is swinging a stolen sword at the guards]
Guard: [frightened] He's got a sword.
Razoul: You idiots. We've all got swords.


Genie: But oh, to be free. Not to have to go "Poof! Whaddaya need," "Poof! Whaddaya need," "Poof! Whaddaya need?". To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world. But what am I talking about? Let's get real here, that's never gonna happen. Genie, wake up and smell the hummus.


Jafar: [disguised as prisoner] You've heard of the golden rule, haven't you? Whoever has the gold makes the rules.


Merchant: [holds up lamp] Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what outside, but what is inside that counts. This is no ordinary lamp. It once changed the course of a young man's life. A young man, who, like this lamp, was more than what he seemed. A diamond in the rough.


Aladdin: Are you afraid to fight me yourself, you cowardly snake?
Jafar: A snake, am I? Perhaps you'd like to see how sss-snake-like I can be.
[he changes into one, and his voice changes with it, too]


Aladdin: They wanna make me Sultan. No, they want to make Prince Ali Sultan. Without you, I'm just Aladdin.
Genie: Al, you won.
Aladdin: Because of you. The only reason anyone thinks I'm worth anything is because of you. What if they find out I'm not really a prince? What if Jasmine finds out? I'd lose her. Genie, I can't keep this up on my own. I-I can't wish you free.
Genie: Fine, I understand.
[shrinking into his lamp]
Genie: After all, you've lied to everyone else. Hey, I was beginning to feel left out.
[angrily]
Genie: Now, if you'll excuse me... *master*...
[disappears into his lamp resentfully]


[Iago is disguised as a flamingo. He turns around and finds a real flamingo smiling in his face]
Iago: You got a problem...
[he trips the flamingo with his stilts]
Iago: ...pinky?